Memories of my childhood is
filled with happy moments. These moments are
all marked by family gatherings and repeated events, year after year, simple routines
and practices. Only much later I realised that our family had a unique
way of living. This has now become our family culture, which is passed on from
one generation to the next. These are the things refer to when say to our children:
“When I was your age we always did…now I would like to share it with you.”
These repeated actions is what
forms the foundation of our children’s’ experience of family life. The way we speak to each other, deal with
conflict and set boundaries all contribute to the state of our family’s healthy
living. Factors that shape our family culture.
Family culture is the unique way
in which we help our children to engage with the world and be true to their
family values. A strong and positive family culture is based on trust, mutual
respect and understanding. This is the moment when your child respond to
negative influences with: “I don’t think my parents would like it if I do
this.”
A simple example is the way in
which we interact with our children’s friends. Having and open house for friends
skills our children in sharing our home with others. There are set expectations
when having guests over and how we expect them to behave. This is mirrored by us
when we have family over, or have our friends over. We set the example that
becomes our culture. All these are negotiated through repetition.
Family culture is about creating
a connected union between us, our children and our extended family. I like the
idea of celebrating family successes by inviting family over for a simple
meal. The children know that they need
to assist with the planning and preparations as this forms part of the
celebration and our family culture.
Family culture is the accepted norms
and values that the family upholds. These are the simple yet important things
that we hold dear and want to pass on to our children. Some of these values can
be examined by discussing the following considerations as a family:
- How we expect the children to address adults regardless of their social standing or economic status.
- How we view material things. Are we appreciating the small inexpensive gifts as much as the expensive ones?
- How we view education and the importance of achieving our best.
- How we deal with family crises.
Our family is our brand and this
brand is recognised by our family’s culture. Yet Parenting speaks to that constant
pursuit to uphold strong traditions and creating a sense of belonging for our
children.
Let’s continue to create memories
with our children that will become part of their being and family culture.
Happy parenting!
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